While sitting in a booth at The Deli Llama, Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels developed Dialectical Materialism, a philosophical construct derived from one of their failed comedy routines. Let’s listen in on their conversation that fateful night…
Karl Marx: Ach! What was up with that audience?
Friedrich Engels: What was with you tonight?
FE: You had to have audience participation. Did I tell you to ask for audience participation? No. You had to have audience participation. It was your brilliant idea.
KM: How was I to know they’d throw things?
FE: And that stupid song of yours – who ever heard of a word that rhymes with “heuristics?” What kind of an idiot asks the audience for a word that rhymes with heuristics?
KM: It sounded good at the time.
FE: Moron. And what the hell is the “materialist conception of history?” Where do you get that stuff?
KM: I was waiting for Sasha to finish her gruel so I could take her to kindergarten. I saw it on the side of her lunch box. I thought it might get a laugh.
FE: Oh, by the way, genius—it’s “materialist dialectic,” not “dialectical materialism.”
KM: Since when?
FE: Since we started. It’s always been materialist dialectic.
KM: Yeah, and no one laughed. Ever. Look what happened tonight—they were rolling on the floor.
FE: That was the cheese. Roquefort isn’t supposed to be green.
KM: You should talk. First it’s “geist”, then it’s “zeitgeist.” Make up your mind.
FE: I wanted to get some concept of time in there, so I used zeitgeist. What’s the big deal?
KM: You threw off my timing is what!
FE: Like you know timing. You were supposed to pause after “thought is a reflection of the material world in the drain.”
KM: It’s “brain,” you idiot—not drain!
FE: Well, if you’re going to start quoting me on stage, you nitwit, it’s “ceaseless,” as in “All nature is a ceaseless state of movement and change.”
KM: What did I say?
KM: It got a laugh.
FE: We sounded like idiots up there tonight.
KM: What if we focused more on materialism? I heard this kid Lenin do a real funny bit on it at the Rathskeller. It was murder!